Lawrence King, 15, shot for being gay

Lawrence King, a 15-year-old boy who self-identified as gay, was shot in the head on February 12 in class by a schoolmate. A week prior to his death, Lawrence had asked his fellow classmate, 14-year-old Brandon McInerney, to be his Valentine. (Some of you may have heard about this crime on Ellen’s daytime talk show).

On February 12, 2008, Brandon, while in the middle of a normal class, on a normal school day, took out a gun and shot Lawrence in the head. Lawrence was pronounced brain dead later that day.

To make matters worse, Lawrence was already struggling through a difficult life. At the time of his death, he was living in a home for battered and abused children.

As a gay man, I probably hear about more on-going hate crimes against the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community than the typical American, but this one is especially devastating to me.

Lawrence King was still learning about himself and still maturing as a man but, even at a young age, he knew that his sexuality should be a non-issue. Lawrence set the standard that the gay community should live by: be proud and be yourself. But, tragically, others around Lawrence weren’t able to find the same acceptance of his sexuality as he was.

When I discuss gay rights with heterosexuals, I’m always told how much better things are now for the gay community. Yes, there are states offering same-sex marriage and civil unions, but that’s more impressive than it sounds. One state currently offers full marriage rights to same-sex couples, while the others offer civil unions, which, as I’ve stated before, aren’t offering the same level of protection to gay couples as heterosexual couples enjoy.

But, the truth is, we still live in a world where a child can be so threatened by the idea someone might perceive as being homosexual, he’s willing to kill someone else. This Brandon kid was so troubled by Lawrence’s misguided advance, he took a gun out and shot him in the head. In class. With other children and faculty around.

The other frustrating part is the lack of media coverage. It’s as if people want to believe that this couldn’t happen, so they ignore the fact that they are still promoting a culture of hate or intolerance. In fact, a recent discussion within the 9rules community proved both infuriating and disappointing at the same time. (link) I was shocked and disgusted to learn so many people think that calling using the word gay to describe something ugly, unwanted or uncool is acceptable. And this is what we’re teaching our children; to associate the word gay, which represents millions on individuals, with negativity, or a lesser social status.

I am an optimist; I believe things are changing and, in the future, being gay won’t be any more of an issue than having red hair. But how many people have to die before we get there? How many 15-year-old children need to be buried before we take a step back as a society and realize that, while we may not fully agree with each other’s lifestyles, violence is never the answer?

So, today I am taking a stand. I am going to be more vocal about gay rights, and I’m going to make sure I’m doing everything I can to make life easier for my fellow LGBT community. We might not be able to change the world overnight, but hopefully we can make it better for the next generation of gay children. Maybe we won’t be reading about another Mathew Shepard, Lawrence King or

If you want to get involved:

• http://www.rememberinglawrence.org/
• http://www.myspace.com/rememberinglawrence
• http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=8088192263
• http://www.dayofsilence.org/
• 4 Steps to prevent violence
• MTV’s Coverage

But, most of all, be conscious of what you do and say; someone is always paying attention. Treat your fellow humanbeings with respect. Make a difference.

Knit Like a Man

For the sake of full disclosure, I’ve known David Demchuk for a little over a year now. I met David via the 9rules network. We were both members in the “Special Interests” community, as 9rules didn’t have a section devoted to LGBT blogs (though I tried to have that changed without any luck). David’s blog is Knit Like a Man, and it covers his love for knitting among other topics.

In addition to providing recommendations for music you can knit by, David is also a source of pride for the online gay community. In posts like I’m gay. So what., Emergency Averted or Surprising your boyfriend at Christmas, David treats his orientation and relationship like he should: as if it were a non-issue.

So many times, the gay community falls into a habit of holding back or omitting details about their personal lives for fear of harassment, what others will think or they just don’t want to deal with the stigma. If we, as a community, take this approach, then we’re sending the message that we are different or there’s something shameful about who we are, which makes it okay for the bigots out there to treat us that way.

To change things in the future, we all need to take a page out of David’s book. Talk about your life, love fearlessly and be open about your love. Over time, when we treat our sexuality as a side-note, others will as well.

Well done David.

Ellen Degeneres: Civil Rights Activist?

When Ellen Degeneres came out in 1997, she made history. Here was a successful woman with a popular TV show making a decision that would not only cause turmoil in her private life, but would also impact her career, or possibly end it.

In 1998, The Ellen show was canceled, despite maintaining good ratings. The show was canceled because of the public backlash towards Ellen, the network and the show’s advertisers.

After that, Ellen faded into the background for several years.

When Ellen reemerged, and began moving back into the media mainstream, it was as if her orientation were no longer an issue for the general public. She never went back into the closet or went back to dating men, she was still the Ellen we had come to know after her outing in ‘97. But, for her part, Ellen stayed away from LGBT issues. It was as if she understood that the general public will adore her because she’s genuinely funny and charming, but just as long as she doesn’t talk about her personal life.

Except, she is now.

As any fan of her show knows, Ellen has always kept a hands off approach when it comes to issues affecting the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. That’s what makes the past few weeks remarkable, and amazing.

On February 29, a visibly emotional Ellen had the following to say about a hate crime that occured on February 12:

“On February 12th, an openly gay 15-year-old boy named Larry who was an eighth-grader in Oxnard, California was murdered by a fellow eighth-grader named Brandon. Larry was killed because he…was gay. Days before he was murdered, Larry asked his killer to be his Valentine…And somewhere along the line the killer Brandon got the message that it’s so threatening and so awful and so horrific that Larry would want to be his Valentine that killing Larry seemed to be the right thing to do. And when the message out there is so horrible that to be gay you can be killed for it, we need to change the message.”

Here is the entire video:

Honestly, hearing about Lawrence King’s murder on Ellen was the first time I had hear or seen it mentioned in any media outlet. After her public condemnation, I’m still waiting to see the story picked up by other major media outlets. As of now, it’s all been a quiet affair without much publicity, which goes to show what the life of a gay person is really worth today.

So, needless to day, I was impressed with Ellen for taking such a public stance. For the past few years, she’s managed to walk the straight and narrow (pun intended) of being a lesbian but being a TV friendly lesbian, which means not ruffling any feathers. By making such a firm and decisive message on national TV, Ellen put herself back to 1997. She again brought her own sexuality to the forefront and gave narrow-minded individuals a reason to target her. She put her career and her safety in jeopardy once again.

I watched the show and was proud, but then fully expected Ellen to go back into semi-stealth mode. Continue the dancing, the funny interviews, but keep off of gay issues all together.

I was wrong.

On March 12, Ellen responded on her show to the remarks of Oklahoma Representative Sally Kern, where Kern said that homosexuality was a bigger threat to America than terrorism or Islam.

Ellen played a piece of Sally’s speech, then attempted to call the Representative only to find out her voicemail was full.

Watch the clip:

When Ellen was unable to reach her, she left a message on national TV asking Sally to call her back, because she’s like to clear some things up for her.

I walked away from all of this with a new found respect for Ellen.

She could have easily done what was wise for her career and kept her mouth shut, but, instead, she’s using the platform that she’s been given to stand up for the LGBT community, something that’s generally considered career suicide in Hollywood. I am proud of her for being true to herself and for talking candidly about the issues that affect her and our community, even when those topics aren’t ratings friendly.

What do you think? Is Ellen emerging as a new civil rights activist for the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community?