We have a Halloween decorating and costume contest at work every year. We also do Trick or Treating cubicle-to-cubicle for the kiddos. It’s a really fun day because everyone participates and there’s a steady stream of goblins, princesses, super heroes and Elvises (Elvisi?) roaming the office. Last year the Bean was a dragon and was just on the verge of crawling, so he just made a brief appearance (in which he spit up all over the carpet. Rock).
This year he’s old enough to do some walking and he looks SUPER cute running around in his little lion costume. So, Jer snagged Bean early from daycare and brought him up to do some trick or treating.
When I say he trick or treated, I don’t really mean it. He’s 18-frickin’-months-old. In our eyes, that’s way too young for candy. He really just came up to say hi to everyone, to show of his costume and to show people his new obsession with finding complete strangers’ nipples while yelling, “BOOBIE!” (Yes, really.)
About 15 minutes into him making the rounds (we were walking around with him so he could say hi to all of our friends [side note: Jer and I used to work together years ago, so most of my coworkers are his former-coworkers and our friends]), I had an interesting run in with a complete stranger. This is how it went:
Concerned Mother: He’s so cute! How old is he?
Me: Thanks. He’s 18-months-old.
CM: He’s a doll. Where’s his candy bag?
Me: Oh, he’s only 18 months. He’s too young for candy.
CM: *blank stare*
CM: *blank stare*
Me: *this just got reeeeally awkward*
CM: But it’s Halloween?
Me: And he’s having a great time running around and seeing everyone in his costume. We just don’t want to introduce candy into his diet yet.
CM: *Starting to get pushy* Don’t you think that takes the fun out of Halloween?
Me: No, I don’t think so. He’s 18 months. He doesn’t know what Halloween is or the traditions. He’s not missing out on anything.
CM: Do you mind if I give him a piece of candy? He’s just so cute in his costume.
Me: Yeah, actually, I do mind. He doesn’t need to have any candy. Thank you though. *I try to walk away and leave it at that*
CM: I know you think you’re doing the right thing but he’s going to have candy some day. Just let him enjoy Halloween.
Me: *Starting to get irritated* Obviously he’ll have candy some day – when he’s older. Every parent has their own style. Ours doesn’t include candy this early. Take care. *I start walking away now*
CM: *indignant* I just can’t believe some people.
Me: *Officially can’t filter what’s going through my head any longer* What can’t you believe? That we’re trying to keep our child on a healthy, balanced diet that doesn’t include a bag full of candy? That we’re not going to pump a toddler full of sugar and chocolate? That I take into account his bed time and how loading him full of sugar might not only make him uncomfortable but may also make bedtime difficult because he will be wound up, which means he’ll wake up cranky tomorrow?
CM: *Realizing she’s gone too far* I just meant that people are taking the fun out of Halloween and Christmas it seems like. Let kids be kids.
Me: I don’t think that “letting kids be kids” involves being a lax parent. He doesn’t need candy. It doesn’t provide any nutritional value. He’s never really had candy and he’s alive and thriving. You might want to go get your daughter that’s dressed like a stripper before she gets on the elevator without you.
CM: She’s a genie.
Me: Whatever.
Maybe we are bad parents and maybe we’re ruining Halloween. But he’s not even two years old! Why on Earth would we let him eat candy? I mean, don’t get me wrong, he had a few licks of a sucker at a wedding this summer, but we’ve never just given him a piece of candy and I don’t really see the value in doing that now. It’s the same with pop – it’s just not in his diet. I know some people feed their kids candy and pop and that’s completely fine! I don’t judge what other parents do (short of beating or mistreating their kids). But, when it comes to feeding the Bean, I always ask myself this question: what does the item add to his diet that he needs?
Candy – nothing.
Pop – nothing.
When he’s older, I’m sure we’ll treat him to different things. But, at least in my mind, candy replaces valuable foods like fruit and vegetables and pop replaces important fluids like water, milk and juices. He’s not a bottomless pit so there’s only so much food and fluids we can get in him. I don’t want that crap taking up the space in his stomach. And, because of our focus on a healthy diet, Bean’s idea of a snack is a carrot, a banana, green beans or a cheese stick. (We did try to feed him a Cheeto one time and he wouldn’t eat it. He put it down and picked up a slice of tomato instead, which is a-okay with me.)
So, yeah, I ruined Halloween and I will continue to do so for a few years. Just call me the Halloween Grinch. I’m good with that.
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Who is this lady? She messed up. She totally went to far. I think she realized it, but WAY to late. I mean, he IS 18 months! Candy and soda (sorry, southern girl here) is just not really needed at 18 months. It’s not needed at any age, but at least when he’s older he can balance it better like you said (i.e. there is only so much space in his little tummy).
BUT THIS –> “You might want to go get your daughter that’s dressed like a stripper before she gets on the elevator without you.”
I don’t think she was ready for that level of snark. BUT I LOVE IT! can you please come to my graduate student Xmas party and dish that out to a few people???
Yeah, I was totally an ass at the end. The “some people” comment really pushed my button. Her kids were running all over the place, acting like fools but she has time to give advice.
And her 4-year-old really did look like a stripper. It was way inappropriate. So I don’t feel bad for that. And she was about to leave the building on her own while her mom debated giving my kid candy with me. Idiot.
And I would LOVE That. :)
That lady was waaaaay out of line. How on Earth is she going to push you to do something that is unhealthy (not to mention potentially damaging) to your little one? Thank goodness you and Jer are instilling healthy food habits into Bean at such a young age.
Besides, you weren’t being mean. You were just keepin it real. LOL
I’m applauding you and doing the Arsenio Hall right now!! Lemme throw in a quick cabbage-patch while I’m at it. *Go Ryan, Go Ryan, Go Ryan!*
I was going to say how I cannot believe the nerve of some people but then I backspaced it because I absolutely can believe that some woman would be that pushy. Major props to you for schooling that broad!
I’m so with you on the food thing. Sofia is just starting solids and I had no idea it would be such a big deal! I nearly had to fight her grandfather just this weekend because he was thisclose to giving her bacon!! What the WHAT! She’s six months old!! And I swear if I hear one more person say it was good enough for them, I WILL show my color!
But back to you… GOOD JOB DADDY!!
Oh my Gosh! We took Ellie trick or treating up and down one street just to say we did it and so she could enjoy the decorations and other costumes. But we would never think to give her the candy! It was about the experience!
And she dressed as a knight because we got around to costume shopping way late and it was that or some kind of strange gogo dancer that looked like a stripper (in a size 12-24 months?!?!?!).
Good for you for allowing your sweetie to enjoy Halloween in a fun costume at a kid-themed location. It is too bad that other parents and their weird judgements are ruining perfectly good holidays!
Wow, that’s an intense interaction. I’m so glad you shared it, because it gave me a good, hearty laugh. I can’t believe that woman felt so entitled to boss you around about your parenting. I’m with you: there is way too much sugar flowing into our kids throughout childhood. You might as well ration it while you can.
It bothers me more than I can say when parents dress their small girsl up like hookers (and I saw my fair share of those costumes this year myself) and then want to “let kids be kids”? Excuse me?
Then they wonder how their twelve-year-old got knocked up…
God forbid you don’t give your child some candy!! I would assume it’s the other way around, giving your child candy, and someone says you shouldn’t because they’re too young – Apparently she woke up on backwards day. He’s 18 months old, he doesn’t have a clue, nor will he likely remember it. It’s your choice, and why in the world would she condescend you for choosing the healthier way to raise your child? People need to learn that their way is their way, and not everyone else’s. That and to shut the hell up.
Also, women who let their daughters dress like strippers should be thrown onto an island and left there. Cause the rest of us are tired of looking at girls’ butts hanging out of their shorts at 15 years old.
We had the same thing happen to us at my husband’s office. Except our babs is 12 months! At least noone was intense pushy about it. I actually accepted some of the good candy from a few folks and it went straight into my purse and later into my mouth.