Today I thought I’d talk about what a good friend Jer is.

It’s no secret that I thought Jer was a sexy piece of lovin’ long before we started dating. And I knew he’d be great father material. But what I value the most about him is the friendship we share.
We had a great friendship before we started dating but, after I stole my first kiss and things became romantic between us, that friendship really blossomed.

Our first official date was on a Friday night (I think – yeah, I’m pretty sure it was) and it involved us having dinner with a large group of friends. It was a total blast and a goofy, fun night. I remember the next morning vividly though (no, we weren’t together – I’m way too classy for that despite what you might have heard). I stressed myself out wondering if I should call right away or wait a couple days. I was terrible at the dating rules – I usually broke them all. I finally decided I should call him, so I did. And he answered. Score.

I didn’t want to come on too strong, so I asked him when I could see him again. He said, “well, aren’t we spending today together?” (by the way…nice poker face, Jer). Ummm…hell-to-the-yes. I had expected that we’d see each other again but I wasn’t sure if he was at the same place that I was – a place where all I wanted was to be with him. Talking to Jer has always been effortless, exciting and engaging. I wanted more time with him just so I could talk to him (and, okay, yeah, kiss him quite a bit).

From that first date on, we’ve been pretty much inseparable.

Through the years, I’ve come to realize just how desperately I needed a friend like Jeremy in my life. He’s the biggest supporter I’ve ever had. When I doubt myself, he boosts me up and makes me believe I can accomplish whatever I’m struggling with. In fact, his blind faith in me is probably unjustified. But I love it and I’m a better person because of it.

When I’m wrong, he calls me out on it. I hate playing games – I just don’t do them. And I don’t like passive-aggressive people either because that’s not how I am. If you have something to say, get it out, let’s talk about it and then move on. Jer has a knack for calling me out when it’s appropriate and doing it in a way that cuts through the BS and makes me stop and think (and without being a dick).

He trusts me. That’s the most important part of a relationship – romantic or just a friendship. How can you build a relationship if you don’t trust the other person? And Jer has always put his faith in me.

He knows when it’s time to talk and when it’s okay to be quiet. Every single day since we’ve started dating, and since Jer left the company we met working at, we talk on the phone on the way to work and on the way home. We catch up on each other’s day and plan for the evening. When we get home, we hug it out and chat it up. But silence is a part of our relationship too, and that’s something that I’ve had to adjust to. We’re not being quiet because we’re fighting or because we don’t have anything to say to each other; we’re just enjoying some down time and some peace as friends, and as a couple. To me, a real friendship is one that can endure saying nothing and being comfortable with it.

Without me saying a word, he can read me. He knows when I need a hug, when I need a joke or when I just need some alone time.

Beyond that, we have a freaking blast together. Every day is an adventure in our lives, especially with an ornery little two-year-old around, and we are enjoying the ride together. Whether we’re spending a night at home or on-the-go traveling, we make the most of it and try to make it fun. A typical day for us involves a lot of laughter and that’s one thing I’ve always loved about our friendship (pre-relationship and post).

We also don’t disagree very often. We’re so similar in a lot of ways that it’s scary. But we also are different enough to keep each other in check. When one of us is passionate about something, 99% of the time, we’re on the same page. When we do disagree, it’s usually a situation where we talk it out and figure out what the right decision is as a team.

It’s a cliche to say, but Jer is honestly the best friend that I’ve ever had and more than I could have asked for.

He makes me a better person by supporting me and keeping it real when I’m actin’ a fool. He’s honest without being insulting. He’s trustworthy and he’s kind. He’s engaging, he’s funny and he’s way more intelligent than I’ll ever be. Other than the fact that he won’t let me touch his belly button (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD – LET ME STICK MY FINGER IN YOUR BELLY BUTTON. It’s not normal to withhold this simple joy from me), he’s the best friend a guy could ask for.

Sometimes I have to pinch myself (or his hot butt) to make sure that I’m not dreaming.

Long before we began dating, Jer was a friend and then a Facebook friend, once The Facebook became more popular than MySpace (we were also MySpace friends, but neither of us were on there very much). I’ll admit that I added him for all of the wrong reasons.

From the moment I met Jer, I thought he was yummy-to-the-tenth-power. Those brown eyes…those sexy, sexy dimples…that beautiful, warm smile…that hot little butt. Oh, and the smell! Jer is infamous for how delicious he smells at all times. Even after mowing the yard in 112 degree weather, he smells like something you want to unwrap and enjoy.

So, yeah, when I added him as a friend on Facebook, I did it only so that I could see pictures of him on a regular basis (he was living in Iowa at the time).

For months I’d flip through his pictures, thinking about how sexy he was, what a sweet guy he was and how his current boyfriend was super lucky to have him.

Then that relationship ended (as did mine) and Jer moved back to Tulsa for work. PRAYERS DO GET ANSWERED PEOPLE!

I remember the very first day that Jer was in the office after moving back. I rounded a corner and he was standing at his desk unpacking his box. My heart literally jumped into my throat. It had been a few years since I had seen him in person and those years were very kind to him. We talked and caught up for a minute. I felt like such a sleazeball because it was a physical impossibility to keep my eyes from roaming all over him. After not being able to see this beautiful man in person, I was soaking it in.

It’s hard to explain the physical attraction between us because it’s something neither of us has experienced before. But, all I can say is, I’ve never been so strongly attracted to another person on this planet that I was, and am, to Jer. And, even after all of these years, he still lights my fire in ways I can’t explain.

We can be totally stressed or having a bad day and all he has to do is flash a smile, and show those dimples, and I melt. And he knows this (and totally takes advantage of it). Gah. Those dimples. That perfect nose. Kills me. The goatee on that adorable chin? Fuhgettaboutit.
I’m a lucky guy though. Beyond the intense physical attraction between us, there’s an ocean of love. There’s a friendship that grounds me, that supports me and nourishes me. He’s my best friend. He’s my biggest fan. He’s my reality-check when I need it. He’s the best co-parent I could ever imagine having. So, yeah, to sum it up, he’s the whole package for me. And I’m crazy blessed to have that.

So, happy birthday week, Jer. I love you like honey badgers love not giving a shit.

And, almost as importantly, happy birthday to your perky, firm, hot little butt. And to your sexy dimples. And to your adorable, sexy smile. And to your perfectly sculpted nose. And to your sexy legs. And to your strong, manly hands. And to your…I’m stopping here…

Thank you for being the best part of my life every single day. Thank you for being the best friend that I could ever ask for, the best father I know and the most incredible lover I could ever ask for.

(You’re free to yell at me now.)

Why?

Because last night, as I read it quietly in bed next to my sleeping husband, I almost peed a little. I was doing the quiet laugh – where you’re laughing so hard tears are streaming out of your eyes, but you can’t let any sound come out because you’ll wake up you sleeping spouse, so you hold it in and your entire insides hurt because of it. And then you realize you’re not making noise but your silent laughter is shaking the entire bed, so you try to stop from laughing. And then you read about someone wearing a deer jacket, and you almost pee a little. I had to shuffle quickly to the bathroom to avoid it. I was quiet-laughing-while-not-vibrating-the-bed so hard, my internal organs were ready to rupture. I’m not kidding. I nearly died.

I kid you not. This book is hilarious. But what else would we expect from The Blogess? As I sit here writing about reading it, I am crying laughing. And it’s the ugly cry. I am telling everyone I know (that’s not offended by a large amount of profanity) to read this book. And since we’re all friends here, I had to share it with you too.

Go buy this book and immediately read it. You will thank me.

Today I wanted to focus on what a wonderful father my husband is.

Jer,

I knew that you would be a wonderful father from the first moment we met. We spend a lot of time with our friends and family and it never failed – anytime we had a get together, you would disappear. I’d go looking for you and find you on the floor wrestling with the kids, playing cars with them or unrelentlessly beating them to a pulp in Wii boxing. :)

And then we had Bean. And you were terrified (like me).

Do you remember how tiny he was? You were so afraid at first that you would drop him or hurt him on accident. Even though I was on night duty, I think you slept even less than I did at first because you were so worried about that tiny, baby Bean being in his crib.

But, in no time, you gained confidence as a father. And as you became more confident, you fell more and more deeply in love with that little pumpkin. And I fell more and more in love with you.

I will never forget your excitement with each milestone: the first smile! The first laugh! The first time Bean held his head up! The first time he rolled onto his side! I was exploding with joy on my own, but seeing the way you took such pride in all of his accomplishments made my heart swell.

And I remember our first trip to the mall. As we walked up, you told Bean “this is where you can have whatever you want – just don’t tell Dad”. I chuckled to myself (and ate an antacid knowing what the future held for our checking account).
Time began to fly. We hit a routine as a family and life was pretty amazing. We became experts at baby multitasking, at feeding, changing diapers and swaddling Bean while we were half asleep.
I was wrapped up in the growth and development that was clearly evident with the Bean each day, as he transformed from a little blob of cuteness (that only slept, ate and pooped) into a vibrant, spunky and ornery little boy.

What I also noticed is that he wasn’t the only one evolving and growing. From the time you became a father, you have transformed into a different person. That tender heart of yours, that made it impossible for me to NOT fall in love with you, was clearly put on display in every action you took for the Bean. You have an ability to love others and to meet their needs that I’ve never seen before. You are so selfless when it comes to being a father. Without Bean even making a sound, you knew what he needed or what he wanted. And, even while we were both juggling being new parents, you continued to take care of me in all of the ways you do.

I love how, no matter what you’re doing or how busy you are, you take the time to give Bean the attention he needs. You are never satisfied that you’ve “done your time” with Bean for the day. No matter how long you play with him, if he wants more time, he gets it. I love that you work so hard to teach him new things.

He counts to ten because of you and the way you made everything a fun counting game.

He knows all of the correct names for body parts because of you (and your resistance to me teaching him all of the slang names for the funny parts).

He doesn’t swear very often thanks to you (since it’s your birthday week, I won’t bring up the fact that you taught him to say “asshole” in the car a couple weeks back).

No matter how many times he says, “Dad. Dad. Daddy. Dad. Daddy. Dad. Dad. Dad. Daddy.” on repeat, you always answer him, just to see that cheesy smile spread across his face.

You are the best father I know. You never lose patience, you are available for your son, you are invested in his development and his upbringing. You are present for him. And you do it all while still contributing to our relationship and focusing on maintaining a healthy and strong marriage.

I don’t know that Bean will ever fully appreciate what an incredible father he has in you because he’ll grow up expecting all that you give him – never knowing how different it could be. But I want you to know that I appreciate it and I recognize the effort you put into raising your son. It’s not easy. Things get pretty stressful at times but you never give up and you never check out.

For all of these reasons (and so many more), celebrating your birth seems like the most important event in the history of the world (after the invention on Mike and Ike’s) to me.