From CNN:

California’s voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage violates the U.S. Constitution, a federal appeals court in San Francisco ruled Tuesday.

Voters had passed Proposition 8, a measure to ban same-sex marriages in California, with 52% of the vote in 2008. Before that, the state’s high court had allowed same-sex marriages in California.

In 2010, Federal District Court Judge Vaughn Walker – who has since retired – overturned Proposition 8. Walker’s decision, though, came into question because he was gay and in a long-term relationship. The 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals was asked to invalidate the ruling, but ruled Tuesday that the ban violated the Constitution.

Click here to read the official ruling in it’s entirety. This part gave me goosebumps:

Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples.

Another huge, huge victory for marriage equality. This one will go to the Supreme Court where, if the constitution is upheld without religious bias, it will be decided that LGBT couples ARE equal.

Feeling good.

The hubs and I are close to closing on the new pad and the best part about it is that there are two living areas: one for the hubby to decorate like he’s an old man, and one for me to decorate like the hip, young couple we are, featuring a nice mix of new and old.

I present to you the anchor on my living room:

I haven’t decided on her name yet (it’s definitely a “her”). I went in today and put down my deposit to make sure no one else scoops her up. We will pick her up right before the big move. She’s 95 inches of pure beauty, in her newly reupholstered, re-cushioned self. And she was a steal of a deal! Similar sofas start at $1100. I did not pay that much (although I refuse to say what I did pay, because I may choose to edit it when discussing this with Jer).

I love that the couch is basically our new house, but in sofa form. The house was completely redone recently: new roof, new heat and air, new kitchen, new bathroom and so on. It’s a vintage beauty with modern touches through out. The sofa is the same way: all of her vintage charm is intact, but there’s a modern freshness wrapped around her bones.

The major bonus is that I purchased it from a local store and I love nothing more than to support local vendors over large chain stores (sorry Crate and Barrel – still love ya) when I can.

I’m excited because the look, style and color were exactly what I wanted. It’s a tad longer than I was looking for but the bonus is that it’ll sleep one person comfortably when we have company in town (or when Jer finds out how much I really spent).

I’ve had this dull headache that’s been hanging with me for the past week, so I went to the doc yesterday. Apparently I’m super stressed (no shit) and carrying it all in my shoulders and neck, which is causing tension headaches. I have something for the headache and something to relax my muscles when I sleep.

Yay!

I’d rather be in bed.

I recently had the displeasure of running into an old “friend”. This is someone I had been very close to (one of my best friends on the planet). We lost touch for a bit and I bumped into her recently. We had “the talk”. You know, the one where you catch up on life since you last spoke. She was super chipper Mrs. Homemaker USA, with the perfect life, perfect family, perfect overly white smile. And I’m just me. I kept it real: I’m gay, I’m married, we have the coolest son on the planet and I love my life.

I could feel the tension and judgment building in her as I answered her question about whether or not I was married. Then she did something she shouldn’t have….she said she’s pray that God would heal me.

Uh….what?

Within a second, the tone of the conversation changed and she became aware that the battle lines had been drawn. I was never rude, but my tone certainly became much shorter and more direct as I explained that her prayers should be focused on her own misguided beliefs as I am not broken and don’t need healing (at least not when it comes to my orientation, which is what she was referring to). It was her tone that set me off – the tone of voice that’s dripping with sympathy that you use when someone tells you they are dying of terminal cancer.

We exchanged a few pointed comments…something like this:

Friend: I’ll be praying for God’s healing to come over you.
Me: Why? Because I’m gay? Why would he heal me when he made me this way? Will he also heal you for having blue eyes? Being gay isn’t something I chose but you being judgmental is a choice.
Friend: We’re going to have to disagree. I just feel bad that you’re raising a child…
Me (interjecting): …that’s a line you don’t want to cross with me. You can disagree with my relationship – not that I care if I have your approval – all you want but you’re off-sides by implying I’m any less capable of raising a family than you are.
Friend: Well, you’re obviously biased.
Me: I think we both are. You’re taking opinions to be fact whereas I’m using my own life experiences to form an opinion, researching facts and educating myself. It’s just sad that you feel the need to judge others. That’s not the Friend I remember who was so loving and warm.
Friend: Well, I better go. I will pray for you, Ryan. You don’t have to live like this.
Me: Please do – I’ll always take extra prayers. I’ll be praying that, at some point, you actually read the Bible and learn what being a Christian is really about. I’ll be praying for your kids too – hoping they overcome their upbringing.

Yeah, so I got a little crappy towards the end. I just wasn’t expecting things to get so ugly so quickly.

I walked away feeling really bummed and I haven’t been able to shake that feeling. Most of the time the intolerance doesn’t really get to me (other than being frustrating to deal with). But this time, with it coming from someone who I was so close to at one point, it stung. And it made me really unhappy that this is something we have to accept as a community: constantly being told that we are lesser people or unsuitable parents based on one piece of who we are. We are more than our orientation. We are good people who have feelings too and this sort of undeserved negativity and judgement DOES take a toll. It just seems unreal to me that so many people need to take the time to share their negative opinion on something that in no way affects them.

So, I’m down. But, to quote Chumbawamba, I get knocked down…but I’ll get up again.

Sometimes I don’t know what to do with you.

You stand way too close to the TV and have to be reminded constantly to sit in the chair or on the floor to watch it. You’re a zombie when it comes to Yo Gabba Gabba, so we’ve begun weaning you off of it. Every time you walk in the living room, you yell “GABBA GABBA!”, run and grab the remote, turn the TV on and then bring the remote to us to turn it on for you. It’s hilarious. On the upside of watching it, you’ve learned to sing “Don’t Bite Your Friends”, which is an important lesson that I wish I would have learned. It would have made my professional career go so much more smoothly.

You’ve decided to pick a new favorite every other day, and only that Daddy can touch and hold you. It’s obviously emotional warfare. Well done.

You’ve been a great help with cleaning up the kitchen. Especially since you’ve decided just to throw away everything. I’ve been trying to talk your Dad into buying new dishes, so well done.

I love that I never have to worry about sleeping in too late on the weekends now – thanks for that! Your quiet whispers of “Hi Daddy”, starting at 5:45 AM, over and over again have assured me that I will never waste another Saturday or Sunday morning sleeping in again.

Thank you for being considerate of your face when throwing fits now. I love that you move from the tile or hardwoods onto the softer carpeting before flopping down and going nuclear.

Thank you for pulling all of the clean clothes out of your dresser and rolling around in them. If you hadn’t done that, I may not accurately remember what all we have in there.

The mural you created on the top of your new table in crayons is absolutely beautiful. Well done.

Also, thanks for telling the nice lady at Wal-Mart who was raving over how cute you are to “shut it” and saying “let’s go” to me. Your manners make me so proud!

I love that you pick only certain words to use, even though your vocabulary is massive. I love hearing “no” or “nope” or “nuh-uh” as a response to every request.

Thank you for deciding that you were done with your haircut 3 minutes in, and trying to climb out of the chair, thus resulting in the back of your head being shaved too closely.

You are opinionated beyond belief. You are more stubborn every day. You’ve decided that you’re going to be bossy recently.

In short, you’re a handful and you’re definitely enjoying terrible twos.

And, although I wouldn’t tell you this because I’m too busy trying to keep you in check, you’re all sorts of perfect. :) You’re giving your Daddies gray hair (you think you need to jump off of EVERYTHING right now), you’re testing our patience like never before and you’re pushing boundaries while testing authority. But you’re also the most loving, sweet and tender-hearted baby boy I’ve ever met.

We will get through all of these little phases with structure, love and a lot of time outs (and some wine for your Daddies). But as you try our patience to new limits every day, all I can help but think is how much I love you and how much better my life is with you in it. Even when you’re my little monster.

Her getting kicked off is still the most shocking and disappointing moment in the show’s history to me. So, without further delay, I present to you: Lisa Leuschner…

SING IT!

I got new glasses.

YES WAY!

But they’re not just regular glasses, ’cause I’m apparently old.

I had to get reading glasses.

I KNOW!!!

It’s our secret.

Since I only have to wear them at the office when I’m working on a computer, or if I’m reading my iPad in bed, I went for big, ugly and not something I’d normally pick. I think I succeeded on both fronts.

I’m glad we shared this moment.

It’s times like those where I find motivation and inspiration from reading the blogs that I really love. I also find comfort in reading the blogs of fellow parents (both LGBT parents and straight parents) and realizing we’re not the only ones with a toddler that loves screaming “NOOO! NO POOPIE!” in the middle of Target when he doesn’t want you checking his diaper.

Douglas from Just One Out of Seven Billion stopped by and gave me The Liebster award, which completely made my day, month and year. I’ve loved reading about Chad and Douglas’ journey to parenthood on their blog. I’ve especially loved keeping up with them after the birth of their two beautiful little boys, Cedric and Ezra. What an awesome little family and what lucky little boys!

Here are the rules of the Liebster award:

• Show your thanks to the blogger who gave you the award by linking back to them
• Reveal your top 5 picks for the award and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog
• Post the award on your blog
• Bask in the love from the most supportive people in the blogosphere – other bloggers
• Hope your recipients pass the award to their 5 favorite blogs to keep the love flowing

Seeing as how many of my fellow bloggers keep me motivated, encouraged and challenged, there’s no way I’d pass up an opportunity ro recognize a few of my favorite bloggers on the web!

Hitting My Stride – I’ve posted about Desiree before, but I’ll post about her again. :) Even though we’ve yet to meet in real life (which should be a crime!), Desiree is my sweetums. She consistently puts out posts that have me busting up in fits of laughter or posts that make me think about how I’m parenting the Bean and what I could do better. She’s a wonderful mother to little Sofia. She’s also married to a total hottie, Drew, who is probably 25% of the reason I keep reading (please take another beach vacation – I need more shirtless Drew pics). :) Des is just the best – she’s beautiful, she’s funny, she’s thoughtful and she’s got a strong moral compass that gives her so much integrity. Love that girl!

Domestic Daddy – DD is one of favorite reads. If you’re looking for a really well-written blog about entertaining, decorating, cooking or – most importantly – being a father, Domestic Daddy has it all! I’m always envious of the elaborate and scrumptious meals DD features (and he always makes it look so easy).

Two Dad Family – Adrian from Two Dad Family simply MUST start blogging again, so that’s part of the reason I’m including his blog. :) The other part is that it’s a wonderful tool for anyone considering surrogacy, and specifically Indian surrogacy. But the web needs more strong voices like Adrian’s representing our community and showing that, despite your orientation or the sex of your partner, a family is a family. With balancing a full time job and 6-month-old twins (happy 6 month birthday to Alice and Thomas!), I can only imagine how hectic life is for Adrian and his partner, Ralph. But fingers crossed he can carve out a little time to continue sharing his perspective on parenting.

Regular Midwesterners – I’ve also mentioned Regular Midwesterners before (at least I’m consistent). I’ve really enjoyed Gretchen’s posts but I identify a lot with Josh’s chronicles of his life as a Dad. Our situations are different and our sons are a few years apart, but there are some universal challenges to raising a family as part of a same-sex couple. Josh writes about those, and his every day life with his son, Miles, and partner, Travis, eloquently, honestly and with mounds and mounds of insight. I love reading Josh’s entries because it’s always clear how much thought he puts into every word he writes. It’s a blog that’s worth reading for that fact alone. Josh’s ninja writing skills definitely push me to try and be a better writer.

Sam and Phil Blog – What I love about Sam and Phil is that they are so completely open about being a same-sex family. Not only do they have two beautiful daughters, Zoe and Ruby, but they are one of the sweetest couples on the blogsphere today. They inspire me because they aren’t just blending into a crowd now that they have a family – they’re actively telling their story, working towards acceptance of same-sex families and helping people understand the surrogacy process. These guys rule. We need more Sam and Phils out there.

The hard part about this is only choosing 5 sites. I love so many! And please don’t feel overlooked if I didn’t mention your site – know that I had a really difficult time narrowing this down.

Thank you to all of the bloggers I’ve mentioned for encouraging me as a blogger and as a father and for enriching my life by sharing your own.

]]> http://prideinlife.com/2012/01/a-little-blog-lovin/feed/ 2 http://prideinlife.com/2012/01/hung-wee/ http://prideinlife.com/2012/01/hung-wee/#comments Mon, 23 Jan 2012 15:07:48 +0000 Ryan http://prideinlife.com/?p=7338 “Da-dee um hungwee.”

More precious words have never been spoken. For realz.

And here is the response:


Jer making the Bean a sandwich (along with some green beans and pineapple) for lunch. Bean loves to sit on the edge of the sofa and talk while we get things ready in the kitchen. (We try to keep him out of the kitchen because my Mom’s room is right off of it and she sleeps during the day [she's an overnight radiologist]).

After Jer finished getting his lunch ready, Bean saw it and yelled, “OH GOSH!”

He cracks me up. We never say “oh gosh” so I have no idea where he even learned that one. He’s hilarious. :)

Photography Tip: this picture was taken with my iPhone. There’s a saying in photography that the best camera is the one you have on you. So, the iPhone doesn’t really compare in picture quality or in capabilities with my DSLR, but I take a ton of pictures with it because it’s always on me and ready to go. I wanted to capture this sweet moment between Bean and his Daddy and remember this little routine of his while living with Nana. I knew that I risked missing it if I ran off to get my DSLR. So, I shot it with my iPhone and did a little processing because I wanted Jer to be more of a silhouette.

]]> http://prideinlife.com/2012/01/hung-wee/feed/ 4 http://prideinlife.com/2012/01/im-hot/ http://prideinlife.com/2012/01/im-hot/#comments Sat, 21 Jan 2012 16:34:01 +0000 Ryan http://prideinlife.com/?p=7331 The hubs has been on a roll lately of teaching the Bean to say random phrases, which are always adorable.

Bean walks up to me and offers his hand for a shake:
Bean: How do you do, sir?

Bean getting mad at me for putting away his crayons before bed:
Bean: That ain’t cool.

But the most recent one has me cracking up because it’s SO Jer. He even pronounces it like Jer.

Me: Bean, why are you putting your feet on the wall?
Bean: ‘Cause I’m hot.

Me: Why don’t you want to go to bed?
Bean: ‘Cause I’m hot.

Me: Are you a cute boy?
Bean: I’m hot.

Stranger at the mall: What’s your name?
Bean: I’m hot.

So, yes, my son will be the first to tell you that not just cute or adorable – he’s hot, which is pretty freaking hilarious coming from a toddler, especially since it’s followed by one of his coy, flirty smiles that light up his entire handsome little face.

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