As a first-time parent, I think it’s natural to occasionally wonder what you’re doing right and what you’re doing wrong. Sure, there are a million books on parenting but there’s not a single book on parenting your child; they are like wild, crazy, sticky-fingered snowflakes – they are all different.
So, you do your best, you trust your judgment and you cross your fingers and hope that your decisions don’t land them in a lifetime of therapy.
Every now and again though, you’ll get some sort of affirmation that not everything you’re doing is wrong.
Yesterday when I picked up Bean from his “school”, his teacher spent a couple minutes telling me what a joy he is to have in her class. He’s always happy, he’s friendly, he’s obedient and he’s full of joy. When they announce a new activity or meal time, he’s so happy that he has to bust a move (I could probably be blamed for the dancing bit). She also gushed about how smart he is – he catches on to their new lessons immediately and has a love of learning that she really enjoys. It made me feel really good to know that he’s well-behaved when we’re not around. I thanked her for her kind words and said we really love him, then headed out.
To get out of his school, you have to walk through the Two Year Old Room, where Bean spends quite a bit of time since he’s right on the cusp of turning two. As I walked through the room, the teacher of that class also stopped me to tell me how much she loves having Bean in class with her. She said he always helps clean up (where is that at home!?), he listens to her, he’s full of hugs and is so sweet to her and the other kids. She said that she wishes she could have a class full of Beans – that’s her dream. I thanked her several times and told her how much I appreciated the time they invest in him and the positive feedback. As I was walking away she said, “You are doing a wonderful job with him.”
That really stuck with me, so I raced home excited to tell Jer. It’s not like we think we’re terrible parents or anything, but the extra affirmation – and from two of his teachers – really made my day.
Of course we know that he’s a really special little man. He’s ornery and he’s extremely stubborn but he has a heart the size of his chest. He will hug anyone at any time, and especially if he thinks they’re sad. He loves to hug and kiss on his puppies and he will spontaneously break out into dance moves when he’s just so happy he can’t contain it. He’s almost always in a good mood and he’s easy-going and relaxed for the most part. He loves meeting new people, even if he’s a little shy at first. Within a few minutes, he’s in their lap talking his toddler gibberish to them, catching them up on his day.
He’s a miracle to us. And he’s perfect. And it feels really good to know that he’s well-adjusted, well-behaved and happy when he’s not around us.
Of course, he ended the night by being put to bed early after throwing his milk cup against the wall (and getting milk ALL over it). But, hey, you win some, you lose some, right?
When the Bean was just a little spud of a baby, we could pretty much keep the house as normal and unbaby-ish as possible, other than his nursery. I have a personal issue with having a house that’s covered from floor to ceiling with baby toys, baby gear and other assorted baby-related-wares.
But Bean’s at a point where he needs more of his own space, especially in the common areas of our house. I mentioned before that we got him his own little table and chairs from Pottery Barn Kids around Christmas (thanks to giftcards and a great sale – we’d never drop $300 on this sort of thing). We also got him a play kitchen at Christmas that’s been stored while the whole move ordeal was happening (Jer went to Wal-Mart at midnight and fought a gaggle of mothers to bring this baby home for $50).
I hung a few cork tiles above his table, where his “artwork” is constantly in rotation now. We also hang things that are sent to him there like cards, invitations and other little items he loves.
His little play area takes up about half of our sunroom but I love it. I love it because he loves it. Bean eats almost every meal at his table, he eats his snacks there, he colors for hours and then, especially when we’re cooking dinner in the adjoined kitchen, he’l spend hours “cooking” for us and his “buuup-ees”. He is crazy about his kitchen, and that makes his Daddy happy.
We’re in the middle of 3 days of rain here in Oklahoma. Lots of street flooding, lots of wet dog paws, lots of wanting-to-sleep-ness. But we’re making it and, knock on wood, without any major complications so far.
I can’t wait for Bean to be a little bit older so that I can teach him the joys of jumping in puddles, and then live to regret teaching him to jump in puddles. :)
Our little Bean has been in a run of bad luck with getting sick. He’s had an ear infection, which the first round of antibiotics didn’t get rid of, resulting in a second round of antibiotics, and then went straight into RSV. He has another check up today to see how he was progressing. The congestion from the RSV has caused a double ear infection again, so that’s not fun. His doc decided to do chest x-rays to make sure that the congestion wasn’t going to turn into pneumonia.
Here’s Bean “reading” to us in the doctor’s office.
Our pediatrician is officed in a building that connects to one of the local hospitals. So, they gave us an instruction sheet for the lab and we walked to the adjoining hospital to have the x-rays taken.
When we got there, we had to check in so Jer, Bean and I all sat down and were answering questions we were asked by the little old lady who was running the triage desk. She ran through basic information on why we were there and then went into questions about Bean’s parents and our insurance.
Little Old Lady: (to me, as I’m holding Bean) Are you the Dad?
Me: Yes.
LoL: Okay. Can I see your insurance card? (I hand it to her)
LoL: Weird. You’re not in our system but your social security number is in here. I’m not sure how to put this into the system.
Me: Well, you can just put him under Jer (obviously I gave her his full name) – we’re all on the same policy.
LoL: *very confused look* No, I’ll figure it out.
….after a couple minutes of her working on the computer.
LoL: Bean’s file says that you aren’t his Dad – it says Jer (she obviously gives me his full name).
Me: Yes, that’s correct. That’s Jer (I point to Jer). We are both his Dads.
LoL: *very confused look and long pause* So who’s insurance should I use?
Me: It’s all the same policy – we are married. We are all on the same insurance policy.
LoL: Does he live at the same address as you and Bean?
Me: *fighting back a smart ass reply* Yes, we are married. Same insurance, same address.
LoL: Oh, okay.
We went back and the Little Old Lady had apparently warned the other told old ladies running the x-ray equipment that a gay family was coming back because they were a little too nice to us. It was almost patronizing. We heard a lot of “that’s just so wonderful that Bean who two Dads!” and “luckily Bean has two Dads so each of you can hold a hand”.
It wasn’t a negative experience. But, when your child is sick and you’re concerned as a parent, the last thing you want to do is deal with someone else’s issues with your family or orientation. I didn’t want to have to explain my family to the triage Little Old Lady; I just wanted to have my son seen. I didn’t need the overly-positive affirmation that my son is lucky by the x-ray tech. I just wanted to get Bean in and out as quickly as possible with the focus remaining 100% on him and his health.
There are a lot of things I’d change about the wonderful state of Oklahoma (pretty much every social issue known to man). But there are also a lot of things that I love about this crazy, conservative state that we call home. Here’s a couple of my favorites.
As a good, proper gay, I love candles. Jer is also a good, proper gay in this respect. There’s nothing that adds a cozy ambiance than a lit, delicious smelling candle. We’ve tried them all: Scentsy, Bath and Bodyworks, Yankee Candles….the list goes on and on. We’ve tried nearly every candle on the planet.
But nothing comes close to the aroma and scents of Wildfire Creations Candles. They burn so well, smell so wonderful and deliver on the ambiance we’re trying to create. A couple of these burning in different points in our previous 1,500 square foot home and the entire place was scented lightly.
The company is locally owned and operated – by Linda out of Sapulpa, Oklahoma, a suburb of Tulsa. If you order a candle, you won’t be disappointed (they ship nationwide!).
Some of our favorites are Sundance Kid, Griddle Cakes and Cathouse Spice (we tend to favor warm, foodie smells).
Ree Drummond needs no introduction by lil ole me. She’s a legend in the blogging world as much as her husband’s family, the Drummonds, are legends in the cattle business in Oklahoma. Ree’s homestead, which is featured prominently on her blog, TV show and in her growing library of books, is about an hour from Tulsa, and was only a hop, skip and jump from Bean’s great grandparents’ ranch prior to their retirement.
It’s been really exciting to see the local girl make good, and on such a large scale. It’s also nice to see being a cowboy or a cowgirl is finally becoming cool again.
Check out Ree’s latest cookbook, which is packed full of delicious meals and her patented charm and humor.
Get The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Food from My Frontieron Amazon.
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